Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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