we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
