if only i could text you this smell
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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