Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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