i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
This is the prime rib incident all over again
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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