Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
