Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
