It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
