does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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