I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
