Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
pop tarts are not kleenex
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
