I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Randomize
