She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
