Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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