she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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