you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
