its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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