Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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