didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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