I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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