check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
the condom got lost in my hair
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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