i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
How naked do you want me to be?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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