Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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