I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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