yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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