We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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