shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
3 2 1 whiskey
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
