How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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