Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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