I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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