"it" just moved
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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