help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
