At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
