First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
PANTIES FOUND
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