Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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