every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
