dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
