Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
