You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Randomize
