a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
