Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
