Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
The uberlube is also flammable
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
