Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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