Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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