Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
