You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
