can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Still dying that you shit outside
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Randomize
