I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
