eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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