TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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