i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
