Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
