is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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