so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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