They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
