Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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