Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
A+ Viking dick
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
