i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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