Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize