She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
They have beer where we have blood.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
