She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
