Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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