lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
