Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
