We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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